Ever have one of those days where the best you can do
is not sit down and just cry? Well that's been me the past three days. I have
gotten teary eyed over sappy commercials, TV shows, and movies. All because I
feel less than myself. I feel that I am missing something and I'm not real sure
what it is. I have been watching what I eat, I've been exercising and yet I
feel that I'm not quite doing everything I'm supposed to do. I have been
looking through Facebook and have found a couple of pages that offer words of
encouragement every day. However, I want this, not just for me but for my
daughter too. She is constantly complaining about the way she looks, but
is not willing to do anything about it. I want her to be comfortable in
her own skin, but until she stands up and does what she needs to do about it, I
feel bad for her. I don't want to be one of these overbearing people who
is constantly on her case about it. She has to be the one who decides
that she wants this, not me. I can tell her every day that she needs to
stick to her diet and her exercise, but that isn't going to make her do it.
If anything, she will be hating me and cussing me under her breath.
And I don't want that. I am trying to be a supportive
mother, but I can’t sit idly by while she just does nothing. I am giving her until Valentine’s Day to step
up and do something. If, at that time,
she still refuses to do what she needs to do to help herself, she is going to
be a very angry teenager.
I have been doing a lot of thinking the past few days and I have
come to the conclusion that I cannot do this by myself. I need help and encouragement. I am going this weekend to have my hair and
nails done. I always feel pretty after a
trip to the salon. Maybe this will give
me the little boost to my ego that I need.
I have a goal to meet and I am not going to let my attitude get in the
way. I know that I have health issues
that prevent me from doing things in the normal way. However, I will not let my health issues
defeat me. Tomorrow is the first day of February
and it is a new dawn in my journey. When
I go to the grocery store, there will be more fresh fruit and vegetables in my
cart. I will not be buying a lot of junk
food. I hope I can encourage my daughter
to do the same. I want her to be happy
with who she is. I also want her to be
healthier. I do not want her to go
through what I have been going through the past few years because of my
weight. I am going to search for an app
on my phone that maybe sends words of encouragement to my phone each day or
something. I tried the sticky note
thing. I was leaving myself little notes
around the house about what my goals are and what I needed to do to reach
them. I want to lose this weight and be
a healthier person for my family and for me.
I want to open my business this year too. This is going to be a wonderful year for
us. I know in my heart that things are
changing and they are changing for the better.
It is going to be our best year yet.
I was told that I was crazy for wanting to start my own business. Maybe I am crazy. But I also know that if you never try, then
you will never know what you are capable of.
And I may fail terribly, but, again, if I don’t try, I will never
know. Blessed Be my friends.
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