Just a little venting

As many know, I have had a lot of trials and tribulations in my life lately.  We lost our home and had to move.  I had a really bad scare with some medical issues.  I have spent a good chunk of the last four months trying to get my family back on track.  Today, I was shown exactly how people perceive me and I didn't like it.  But, I also know that I have a wonderful husband and daughter and whether people like me or not is no longer a concern of mine.  I try very hard not to share my problems on Facebook.  I do post about some of my feelings and have discovered that some people don't like those either.  I was always under the impression that it was ok to let people know how you feel about things.  I guess that with some people, unless you feel as they do, your opinions and feelings do not count.  My feelings are my feelings and I should not have to justify them to anyone.  I spent the better part of the first of the year planning my high school reunion.  I wanted to get people t-shirts to commemorate the event.  However, with the things that have happened in my life recently, they have been on hold.  I had to pay for these out of my own pocket and now people are asking for their money back.  This is fine.  I will gladly pay them back.  I just don't feel that people should be upset with me because I don't have a perfect life like some of them do.  I know that is not a good thing to envy people.  But sometimes when I think about how great everyone else's life is, I feel that much more crappy about mine.  I had an anxiety attack yesterday.  I didn't like the way it made me feel and I hope to never have one again.  But unless I can get my stress level under control, I see them happening more and more.  I chose to start this blog to write my thoughts and to get things that were on my mind out.  Hopefully, so I could get my stress level under control.  But considering what happened to me yesterday, it isn't happening.  

I have a goal.  I want a better life for me and my family.  I will start my business.  And I hope and pray to the Goddess that it is successful.  This is my dream and I am taking the steps to make it happen.  I am almost done with school.  However, with my stress level so high, I have been letting that go by the wayside.  I have a week to get everything caught up and I hope I can do so.  This is something that is very important to me and I want to graduate and get my degree.  People keep telling me they are proud of me for sticking with it.  I hope I don't disappoint them.  I hope I don't disappoint me.  

BLESSED BE!